What’s our wedding theme? Do we even need one?
The simple answer is ‘no’ you don’t need to a theme for your wedding – but there are many good reasons why you might consider having one.
BEFORE WE BEGIN
Let’s get a niggle of mine out of the way. Wedding themes and styling have got out of hand. That’s only my opinion but I’m sticking to it.
Instagram and Pinterest are great for inspiration but can make you feel detached from the wedding you want, and the wedding you can afford.
Real weddings, on the whole, are nothing like the photo shoots you see online.
Please don’t be disheartened, or think you can’t compete, because you’re not competing with something ‘real’ when you’re looking at a photo shoot.
Think of shoots like a catwalk. Fashion on the catwalk is the concept. Fashion on the rail is what people actually buy.
SIMPLE CAN BE BEAUTIFUL TOO
It’s okay to want a wedding that’s all about the love and less about the stuff.
Most of us can’t afford the enormous floral displays and towering cakes we see in some shoots.
Neither do you need Egyptian cotton napkins, hand stitched with gold thread and a fairy dust monogram to show people how much the day means to you.
None of that fluff and fancy really matters in the overall scheme of things.
Before anyone gets cross, I’m not saying you shouldn’t have all that, if you want it. It’s your wedding after all! I’m just saying it’s okay not to want to want it.
It’s okay to want a wedding that’s all about the love and less about the stuff.
OVERWHELMED CAN LEAD TO OVERSPEND
Planning a wedding can be overwhelming to say the least. Things can easily get too much and before you know it everything has run away with you and you’re in a financial mess.
It’s really important to avoid starting your married life in debt up to your eyeballs just for one day, no matter how important that day is.
“Be in love, not in debt!”
Rainbow Drink Toppers & Sign Inviting Writing with @rossandrossevents @chippingnortoneventhire @northfieldslinen @chippyflowerfarm @core_event_hire · Photos by @isobelmurphyphotographyWhat’s the most important part of our wedding day?
The two of you. That’s it really. And I don’t mean ‘it’s all about us so no one else matters’. I mean this is your special day and you deserve to celebrate it the way you want to.
There will always be other people’s feelings to consider – a wedding shouldn’t be about causing rifts and upset, but there is also a line that others shouldn’t cross if it means forcing you both to celebrate in a way you’re not comfortable with.
FINDING YOUR WEDDING DAY VIBE
My starting point for couples has always been this.
Can you find the romance in standing side-by-side, dressed in everyday clothes, exchanging vows and rings, tears in your eyes, love in your heart, then off to the pub for fish and chips, drinking bottles of fizz and dancing on the table?
If the answer is yes, anything else you do is a cherry on the already perfect cake of your relationship.
But getting married is a BIG BIG occasion, and cause for celebration, so the chances are you want things to be that extra bit special.
How you celebrate your marriage is a personal choice.
All I ask is, don’t ever think the ideas or inspiration on this website are must haves.
They’re not.
They are pure and simple ideas to give you inspiration.
YOUR DAY YOUR WAY
Take what you love.
Ditch what you don’t.
Have your day, your way.
Big, small and everywhere in between.
What is the benefit of having a theme for our wedding?
Without a focal point for the feel, vibe, style, theme, or whatever you want to call it, you run the risk of going off track which can lead to unnecessary spending.
Not good.
Furthermore you end up with a mish-mash of ideas which cancel each other out. This means you won’t create an atmosphere.
Choosing a theme can help keep you focussed. You should more easily resist impulse buys that conflict with your chosen style. I emphasise should because you do have to be strict with yourself and apply a level of discipline
“Do we need this? How will this enhance the day? What difference will it make if we don’t have it? Would I prefer to save the money for our honeymoon or home!”
Boho Wedding, a Marquee at Home in Wisbech
Photos Karen Catchpole Photography · Marquee Dottie Events & HireWhat should we choose for our wedding theme?
I can’t really help you with this bit. It’s a personal thing to you both.
If however a theme doesn’t come naturally to you, your focal point can be anything. Think of something that brings you joy, laughter or happy memories; a book, an era, your favourite flower or film, a holiday. Perhaps a hobby you share, where you first met, your song, even the dog!
I think personal themes are often more fun because those who know you best will get it. It doesn’t hurt to emphasise your differences as well as what you have in common.
Simply choosing your favourite colour works just as well. Just have fun with it.
African Inspired Wedding at Bourton Hall, Warwickshire
Photos The Little Studio By Kate · Bourton Hall in WarwickshireHow does a venue help or hinder our vibe?
Your biggest spend will usually be your venue. This will, and to be honest, should, dictate the atmosphere you’re trying to create.
Choosing a venue means finding a space that works for you, your guest numbers and your budget, but wherever possible, choose one which compliments your vibe.
Choosing a venue that complements your style can make creating the vibe easier, and in most cases, is less arduous on your budget,
Sunflower Wedding at Titchwell Manor, Norfolk
Photography Karen Catchpole Photography · Fern Flowers · Titchwell ManorCHOOSE THE RIGHT VENUE TO MATCH YOUR VIBE
My one rule of thumb is, don’t fight the room. If you want a crisp, clean, contemporary style don’t choose a grand stately home. You’ll be fighting for position with the antiques.
If on the other hand you’re looking for a classic country house atmosphere then a square soulless conference room off the motorway isn’t going to help you either!
Halloween Autumn Wedding at Hockwold Hall, Brandon
Photos Karen Catchpole Photography · Hockwood Hall, BrandonWherever possible choose a venue that at least meets you halfway.
Visit as many venues as you can. You’ll soon identify what you like and what you don’t like and be prepared to change your mind several times.
You may even find yourself falling in love with a venue which inspires you to go in a totally different direction with your theme.
This is reason enough not to start buying the details before you’ve settled on your location.
Woodland Wedding at Shouldham Woods, Norfolk
Photos Karen Catchpole Photography · Shouldham Woods, NorfolkWhen you’ve narrowed down your search take a good look at the space. Identify the key features already in place and visualise how you can work with what’s already there.
Don’t choose clashing colours that fight the room. Use the focal points and make them work for you. Sympathetically work in your personal touches.
S&J’s woodland wedding (above) works because they’re in a wood! The trees tell the story without any other props or hire required. Let Mother Nature give you a free helping hand where possible! She’s the very best stylist after all.
Boho Wedding at The Red Barn, Norfolk
Photos Karen Catchpole Photography · The Red Barn NorfolkCHOOSING A WEDDING FLORIST AND STYLIST
If you choose a great floral designer or venue stylist, with a style similar to your own, they will help you create the ambience you’re looking for.
You don’t have to go mad either. Very often less is more.
Be guided by your space and what’s already in situ and wherever possible, reuse your flowers from ceremony to reception. This will save money in your flower budget too.
“A plainly iced or buttercream cake will pop in your photos when you encircle it with the bride and bridesmaids’ bouquets.
It’s a less expensive option to decorating it with sugar flowers and makes your bouquet budget work that little bit harder.”
What’s the downside to having a theme?
Having a theme can take over your life! And your budget.
You could find yourself buying anything and everything that goes with your theme.
Stop that.
Don’t waste your money on trinkets and tat. Yes, I said tat because you can easily fall into that trap of buying nonsense things purely because they go with your theme.
Don’t overdo it.
Consider very carefully any decor you buy because you’ll have to find somewhere to put it after the wedding – unless you want it scattered about your home of course. And don’t ‘over style’ either. Once again, less is more.
This is a wedding not a pantomime so keep it real. You and your partner are the centre of everyone’s attention. Too much styling means you run the risk of getting lost amongst the props.
If you’re on a strict budget keep theme elements to the key pieces – your cake, flowers and centrepieces.
“One statement piece works better than lots if itty-bitty things no one notices.”
Be true to yourselves
I guess the point of this post is to give you the confidence to go your own way, whatever that looks like.
I speak with many brides concerned their weddings don’t have enough styling and this fear stems from Instagram and Pinterest and comparing what they’ve planned to styled shoots they’ve seen.
If you want something and you’re happy spending the money then have it, but don’t buy anything because you think you’ll be criticised if you don’t.
I always say if someone tells you you MUST have a certain ‘thing’ else your wedding won’t be the same, but you’re not particularly bothered about having it, then let them pay for it if it matters that much to them! Otherwise go your own way.
Above all, wether you choose a wedding theme or not have fun with planning the details!
Are you having a wedding theme? If so what is it? I’d love to hear your plans.
Emma-Jane x
Images from Fizzdo Wedding Fair courtesy of Natalie Stevenson Photography